I know everyone has their own taste of disappointment. I felt so disappointed, yesterday. I couldn't cope with it and I cried it out badly. I cried and cried for more than 3 hours, in the bathroom, in my room, on the bed, till I slept off. The thought of going to die is so strong till I can't believe it. This is my first time ever feeling so depressed. I thought I had fall into depression.
When I was struggling thinking between surviving and dying in the midst of my tears, my mom came into my room. I was lucky, because I off the lights and pretend that I am sleeping. She came in and ask me what happen (she thought I was sick), I told her I have massive headache and I need to sleep early. She asked me to eat the medicine before going to sleep. I just simply said yes, and yes I don't really have headache and so I don't need to eat any medicine. But my crying gets louder, because I realized that there's someone out there who really concern about me. She seldom does that, maybe she really felt that there is something wrong with me because I went to bed so early without switching off my laptop which is still in the living room.
I continue to hide under my covers, because the tears, and mucus just couldn't stop. This time my mother came into the room again and pulled the cover. Luckily it was dark and she couldn't see my puffy eyes and did not recognized my sore voice. She gave me Paracetamol and walked out. I felt guilty, so I really went to the kitchen and took one Paracetamol, since I really have minor headache due to constant crying for the past few hours.
I went back to hide under my cover, switch on my phone and found out nothing incoming. So, that's it. The disappointment accompany my sleep, till the next morning.
p/s: What makes me feel disappointed? Many, many, many things which I couldn't find anyone to share with.
p/p/s: I woke up with a very very serious puffy eyes this morning, and lucky my mother did not asked anything about it.
