Wednesday, January 19, 2011


Once, I saw my friend posted in Facebook stating that 2011 should be known as 'twenty-eleven' instead of 'two-zero-one-one'. That is how the title of my post comes from. Twenty-eleven sounds more convincing, matured, and elegant compared to 'two-oh-one-one'. Hahaha. Enough of that.

This is my first post in 2011. Life has been a roller-coaster lately. (Well, who doesn't, rite?) But I am sure that my life is definitely like the most scariest roller-coaster eg. Cockscrew in Genting, compared to the old one (I forgot what is its name). At one moment you are at the top of the sky and then suddenly you are being pushed to the lowest point of earth, without any warnings. Yes, my life has been like that lately. It's hard to spill it all out here, for fearing it may cause havoc in reality (well who reads my blog anyway).

Anyhow, life still needs to continue. Yes, I am sad, depressed, shocked and helpless all the time but life goes on. All I can do is to be as optimistic as I can, and believe that everything actually happens for a reason. As much as I hope that my roller-coaster journey will come to an end, I know it is hard and difficult without the supports. Hence, thank you for all the support given, no matter emotionally or practically, I really appreciate that.

Tomorrow is always a better, and brighter day :D

esineDenise <3

Tuesday, November 09, 2010


In order to push down all the emo posts, here I am to post up some exciting happenings in my life!!



Okay I know I am living a pathetic life. Till then.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

I Will Never Forget...

... the day when you walked out from me. (literally)

You gave us space to think, but you actually given me more space to cry.

I will never forget today. 

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Wrong Way

Everything goes the wrong way. EVERYTHING!

I am lost and I don't know what to do. I might fall into depression. Who knows.

One day, I will just disappear and leave everything behind me. One day. Thank you (all) very much for making me like this. I will APPRECIATE it.

Till then, you don't know where I will be.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You won't know what you get until you opened it.

My life? 

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


I know everyone has their own taste of disappointment. I felt so disappointed, yesterday. I couldn't cope with it and I cried it out badly. I cried and cried for more than 3 hours, in the bathroom, in my room, on the bed, till I slept off. The thought of going to die is so strong till I can't believe it. This is my first time ever feeling so depressed. I thought I had fall into depression.

When I was struggling thinking between surviving and dying in the midst of my tears, my mom came into my room. I was lucky, because I off the lights and pretend that I am sleeping. She came in and ask me what happen (she thought I was sick), I told her I have massive headache and I need to sleep early. She asked me to eat the medicine before going to sleep. I just simply said yes, and yes I don't really have headache and so I don't need to eat any medicine. But my crying gets louder, because I realized that there's someone out there who really concern about me. She seldom does that, maybe she really felt that there is something wrong with me because I went to bed so early without switching off my laptop which is still in the living room.

I continue to hide under my covers, because the tears, and mucus just couldn't stop. This time my mother came into the room again and pulled the cover. Luckily it was dark and she couldn't see my puffy eyes and did not recognized my sore voice. She gave me Paracetamol and walked out. I felt guilty, so I really went to the kitchen and took one Paracetamol, since I really have minor headache due to constant crying for the past few hours. 
I went back to hide under my cover, switch on my phone and found out nothing incoming. So, that's it. The disappointment accompany my sleep, till the next morning. 
p/s: What makes me feel disappointed? Many, many, many things which I couldn't find anyone to share with.

p/p/s: I woke up with a very very serious puffy eyes this morning, and lucky my mother did not asked anything about it.