Disappointment

I know everyone has their own taste of disappointment. I felt so disappointed, yesterday. I couldn't cope with it and I cried it out badly. I cried and cried for more than 3 hours, in the bathroom, in my room, on the bed, till I slept off. The thought of going to die is so strong till I can't believe it. This is my first time ever feeling so depressed. I thought I had fall into depression.

When I was struggling thinking between surviving and dying in the midst of my tears, my mom came into my room. I was lucky, because I off the lights and pretend that I am sleeping. She came in and ask me what happen (she thought I was sick), I told her I have massive headache and I need to sleep early. She asked me to eat the medicine before going to sleep. I just simply said yes, and yes I don't really have headache and so I don't need to eat any medicine. But my crying gets louder, because I realized that there's someone out there who really concern about me. She seldom does that, maybe she really felt that there is something wrong with me because I went to bed so early without switching off my laptop which is still in the living room.

I continue to hide under my covers, because the tears, and mucus just couldn't stop. This time my mother came into the room again and pulled the cover. Luckily it was dark and she couldn't see my puffy eyes and did not recognized my sore voice. She gave me Paracetamol and walked out. I felt guilty, so I really went to the kitchen and took one Paracetamol, since I really have minor headache due to constant crying for the past few hours. 

I went back to hide under my cover, switch on my phone and found out nothing incoming. So, that's it. The disappointment accompany my sleep, till the next morning. 

p/s: What makes me feel disappointed? Many, many, many things which I couldn't find anyone to share with.

p/p/s: I woke up with a very very serious puffy eyes this morning, and lucky my mother did not asked anything about it.

October Filler

Wow! It's been 2 months since my last post. That is why I am doing a filler post now. Since I don't know what to write, so I am posting some pictures to reflect what I had done for the past few months *digs out pictures*

 Kylie's Convocation

Went to find Dear during National Day

*wink* *wink*

 

Karen's Wedding during Hari Raya *the Lengluis*

My family with Karen, Chee Seng and Grandma

Genting trip with Dear on October 

 

Okay that's all! Will blog in details about all the events if I have the time :P

xoxo,

esineDenise <3

Public Transportation

I always have the urge to blog whenever I experience something unusual, or something which I think I should blog it out so that everyone will know about it (it's not like there are people who is going to read this). And each time when I want to blog, there will always be some other work which will distract me and eventually I will forget about everything. Maybe the passion to blog inside me is not that 'deep' yet.

    ...........................................................................................................................................

Who takes the Light Railway Transit (LRT) or other means public transportation to go to work, to school, or to shopping malls? I guess out there, there are still many people who are using public transport as their main means of transportation. Same goes to me. In KL, public transport will take me to wherever I want to go (I will only go to places where they are accessible by public transport).

Due to the level of securities in Malaysia, I had never ever taken a taxi by myself. Why? I guess I actually have phobias in taking taxis (it's not that I have bad experience with taxi drivers before lah) but I kind of afraid to take taxis after reading the newspapers and watched the news. You know what I mean.

Okay back to the topic. I was planning to list out things that I hate to see while boarding public transport.

1. Men who like to scratch or rub their toes while sitting inside the LRT. I know it's very comfortable sitting inside there with aircon and all, but do you need to remove your feet from your shoe and keep scratching it? (No, I am damn sure that their toes are not itchy. It's just a matter of habit. They just sub-consciously rub or scratch it while chatting with their friends). Worst if the feet smells. *vomit*

2. Couples who smootch in the train. The guy will rub the girl's thigh, hand, back, and sometime even the butt! (I swear I saw it before!) Hello? This is public place ok? Save all these intimate gestures for your own room. Some will say it's how the couple show their affection to each other (No I am not jealous. I have a boyfriend myself, and when we are in the public we won't show such affections). Sometimes when they lean too close with each other then I'll be looking and anticipating when are they going to kiss each other and forget bout all the passengers.

3. People who take up 2 seats while sitting in the train. You know the train is small. You know the train has limited seats. You know there are many people in the train. Then why you still take up 2 seats when you are sitting alone? Sometimes these people are plain dumb they thought that they had just occupied 1 and half of the seat and expect other people to share another half of the seat with them. Please lah who want to sit so near to you with the risk of touching your butt and your leg.Unless if you are Brad Pitt or Chuck Bass.

4. Parents who allow their children to run around in the train and disturb other people's peaceful journey. I don't understand why they can let their children run around and risk of falling down or bang the pole in the train. Sometimes these children will even touch other passengers. I don't mean that I don't let them touch, but not everyone likes other people to touch them. But even if they don't like, they would not scold the children. What they can do is to look at the children mother and hoping that she will pull them away. Which most of time they won't do so because they feel their own child is very cute.

5. Inconsiderate people shouting in the bus. I know you are very superior than all the passengers in the bus. I know you know bus driver very well. I know you know everyone in the bus industry. But that does not give you the right to talk loudly or shout in the bus or intimidate the elderly when they are getting off from the bus. Don't forget one day you will become like them too. You are just plain disturbing. I can't see how superior are you. Oh, you still need to pay the same price of bus fare like me right?

6. Passengers of express bus who got down from the bus to purposely smoke and cause everyone to wait for them. Haallllooo?? Smoke lesser can die is it? Like to smoke so much then don't take public transport ok since it's so inconvenient for you. There is this time when I was taking the express bus to KL. When I got into the bus, I already see this two guy smoking before entering the bus. Once they had slowly enjoyed inhaling tar and nicotine only they got into the bus. But once they got into the bus and waited for 2 minutes and realized the driver is not ready yet, they got down from the bus and have another smoking session. Once they light up their cigarette guess what they do? They quickly inhale another few doze of nicotine before throwing it away. What kind of mentality is that? Die die also want to smoke.

That's all I can think off so far. During the times when I really want to blog about this I have more than 10 stories to tell. This is the consequences of not blogging once I want to blog. Will update this list, if I remember. Till then!

Random

I still can't figure out what happened to my blog's layout. Tried adjusting it for many times it still looks like that. I think I'm just gonna leave it as it is. I think the only way to fix it is to register another new blog name, and start all over again. I just don't have the mood and energy to do so.

As from the above title, this is a very random post. Rather than surfing aimlessly on the internet, I better blog something up to keep track with what I had been doing lately (no, I am not too free. I have lots of work to do, just that I am still procrastinating in doing it).

Last weekend, we went over to BBQ Plaza to celebrate Boon's farewell (she will be going to Singapore to work soon). The attendees were me, FaiFai, James and of course, Boon. We had not seen each other for a long time after we left the college. Even if we met, we met separately. The whole lunch session was fun, as usual we ordered a lot of pork sets and this time we tried beef set.

Boon with the foods

Unfortunately, the next day I had fever. I don't know it's because of the food I eaten or I am just unhealthy. I skipped morning's class and attended only the afternoon class (because I need to clarify some assignment queries with the lecturer). My fever was on and off and I thought I got dengue fever. Anyway I still packed and came back to Temerloh on Monday, just in case if I fainted there's still people who can send me to hospital.

Throughout the week, I got fever, diarrhea, vomit, headache, dizziness. I thought I am going to die. I go through everyday thinking what kind of disease I had infected. The worst is that I had an assignment to submit on that weekend as well. I'm so demotivated to do anything at all so I just simply completed the assignment without thinking much. Towards the weekend, my condition did not get any better. On one of the days I got red rashes all over my body (include my face). That's when I think die la this time confirm is dengue fever. But, weirdly I don't have fever. The rashes are not itchy as well. Those red patches stayed on my body for a few days and it gotten serious at night, especially when I sleep. It only feels itchy when I sleep. I could not get enough good sleep throughout the weekend. 

At last, another weekend had passed. On the Monday (a different Monday) mom fetched me to see the doctor right after I got down from bus because I still have lots of 'wind' in my stomach and I still feel dizzy and headache. The doctor measured my blood pressure, and it shocked him that I had low blood pressure. No wonder I felt dizzy all along, because my blood pressure is low. He said I lacked of water (did not drink enough water, hence I am quite dehydrated) and my condition will turn better if I drink more water, eat more fruits and vegetables and rest properly.

Hence, now I am drinking my water (more than usual). I eat whatever fruits I can find from the kitchen (not really. Green apples, oranges, bananas turn me OFF). I exercise at least 20 minutes daily (I jogged using the jogging machine) to get myself sweat. I make up every morning (I used to NOT make up) because I feel when you are beautiful, you will feel more energetic. I wear contact lenses every morning (so that I can put on my make up :P). I vowed to live healthily from now on (because I am sick of being SICK). 

I am still procrastinating in doing my work. I guess I should change this habit. So I better end this post now and focus on my journal review. This coming weekend is Grandma's birthday. And I am gonna skip class again. The bad side of having weekend class. I need to skip my class whenever there are functions in the weekends. 

Okay got to go now. I have prediction that the next post going to be an emo post. Not only Paul can predict okay? 

xoxo,

esineDenise   <3

Clashing Dates

I am very frustrated.

I am very Frustrated.

I am very FRUSTRATED !!!!!!!!!!


All my datelines are clashing like nobody's business! Stress stress stress. wtf.

On Week 3 I just realized that we need to submit our individual assignment on Week 6. wtf. 3 more weeks to go. Then when I checked back the unit plan I just realized that we need to submit the case study for approval on Week 4. Another wtf. Then my dad told me that we need to back Sekinchan to celebrate my grandma's birthday, on my Week 6. Yes!! Right on my submission day. And now I have to think about other alternatives, such as finishing my assignment on Week 5, which means I have only 2 weeks to go. GREAT!

Then, my cousin's wedding. It falls right a day before my exam. WOW!

So far I just found out that two datelines are clashing. I hope I won't be able to find another date. God bless.