Recently there are a lot of things going on in my head.
~the most feared FYP
~my future after graduating
~a place to stay after graduating
~how to meet dear after moved out
~study? or work?
All these things, going around in my mind all the days, non-stop. Actually the most saddest part is after i move out, it will be very hard for us to meet each other again. I really don't want that to happen. I will miss him loads and loads and loads *sad*
Argghh!!!!!!!!!!
Maybe I should just listen to Priya. Don't plan anything. Whatever it will be, it will be. But still, I can feel the painfulness in my heart, every night, when he whispers good night to my ears and my tears start to roll down....
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Monday, January 05, 2009
Me am back AGAIN !
I had been lost in awhile due to the non-existence of Internet connection in my hometown plus adding the 2 weeks year end break makes me feel so lazy to face the laptop. I even neglected my final year project. What a student :)
And now, 2 weeks are gone, and guess what? I am looking forward for the Chinese New Year holidays! After the holidays I will be looking forward for my semester break on the early of February! One week! Yeah! and guess what, my final year project is due on March. So, I wonder can I control myself to do my work instead of lepak-ing around during the holidays..Scary.
Anywayz, during the 2 weeks break, I went to Kuantan and also Malacca. Will be posting the pictures soon (which I never know when is that) :)
During the holidays, and before that, I was chasing on the latest TVB serials. The Gem of Life. Thanks to my mom who constantly updating the DVDs in my house,I keep watching and watching and watching.I even finished one DVD which consist of 10 epsiodes in one day few days back.
"The Gem of Life"
And now, 2 weeks are gone, and guess what? I am looking forward for the Chinese New Year holidays! After the holidays I will be looking forward for my semester break on the early of February! One week! Yeah! and guess what, my final year project is due on March. So, I wonder can I control myself to do my work instead of lepak-ing around during the holidays..Scary.
Anywayz, during the 2 weeks break, I went to Kuantan and also Malacca. Will be posting the pictures soon (which I never know when is that) :)
During the holidays, and before that, I was chasing on the latest TVB serials. The Gem of Life. Thanks to my mom who constantly updating the DVDs in my house,I keep watching and watching and watching.I even finished one DVD which consist of 10 epsiodes in one day few days back.
"The Gem of Life"See the casting in the movie? I think TVB used up all their actors and even the "ke le fe" are famous stars. But the show getting kind of bored and bored and drag and drag. I had reach episode 50, and i think the story only begins on episode 50 =.=
That's all for now. Will blog about Malacca and Kuantan trip next time (if I still remember) =)
Ciaozzzz (^^Y)
That's all for now. Will blog about Malacca and Kuantan trip next time (if I still remember) =)
Ciaozzzz (^^Y)
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
i am just an aVerage girl
I am just an average girl.
Had anyone heard about a song title or any song related to the title of my post? I vaguely remember there is a song which sings the heart out of an average girl. Or maybe I am just imagining it because I wanted the song to exist so much. Yeah. Pathetic for me.
I have been leading a very simple life since I am born. Simple in the sense of there is nothing like big disasters, most embarrassing situations, most awkward encounters which happened in my life. Well minus those break-ups with some guys which keeps me sad for days and a week at most. (Hope someone does not read this T_T). In other words, I am just an average girl.
I can't remember what happens in my kindergartens, so I will just skip it and start with my primary school life.
During my primary school days, I am kind of a bright girl, but not very bright compared to my classmates. I got good results, but not as good as my classmates. I wanted to be number one but always ended up be number two. I remembered once I am being boycotted for no reasons. So damn pitiful during those times where you don't have friends around you. Going to school is just like a torture to me. Lucky it ended after awhile and I am back to the gang again. Since then I am being very self-conscious with myself. I try not to speak the wrong words, I try to behave like the gang, I try to be someone they like. I guess I brought up this attitude till now. What a pathetic I am. I am just an average girl. Well, read the next story.
During my secondary school days, I get to know many great friends, but some of them leave to another school in between the school terms. I will never get along with some friends, and I know they hated me too. But I do not care. I still have my own friends, close ones and even though I do not have to be as self-conscious as previously, I still have it inside me. You just don't know what others are thinking or thinking about you. Some can just be very friendly with you and in the next minute they are gossiping about you behind your backs and they stop talking to you. I do not know the reason why, or maybe it is because of me either saying the wrong things to them or it is just a bad timing. I am an ugly girl during sec (I did not say I am pretty now, beware.) so there is no one there to pay attention on me. I was being bullied by the seniors, the first time in my whole life and I almost changed school. I took part in clubs, but I am always not the outstanding ones. I performed, I danced, I talked, but as usual I am not the best one. I am just an average girl.
And now, I am leading a college life, and I am to be considered as an adult now. My life? I am not the brightest in the class, so I won't get noticed by the lecturers. I am not the laziest in the class so I won't be noticed by lecturers. I am not the most outspoken one in class so I won't be noticed by lecturers. All this changed when I attended my Malaysian and Moral studies class with my dearest Mr Warren. I accidentally found out that he named my class as 'Denise's class'. At that time, I was so proud, the feeling of being in front of everybody feels so good. But that only last for the semester. When the class ends, my feeling ends too. Friends? I have, even though not many but is not few also. But, the attention will always never be on me. I am just a follower, or the someone who will be call just because of another someone is going. So so so pathetic. When I knew their true colors, I stop hanging out with them. Well, as if they care. I do not want to always 'follow the majority', I wanted to make my own decisions as well. But i dare not to. Because I afraid I will make someone pissed off because of that, and I do not want that to happen. Why am I so stupid, putting my own life on behalf of others? Like one of my friend always quote herself 'I am just the grass at the roadside'. Pathetic but true. Who am I to demand so much. I did not say that I do not enjoy my college life, I enjoyed it, but not to the fullest. I wanted something different. Something different from my life. I am just an average girl.
Till recently I found out something which really pissed me off, I get so fed up with these persons, I start ignoring them. Do 'you' remember I was telling you that I am having depression? All sorts of things came into my mind. It is either facts or something which I am imagining. This will happen when you become too self-conscious. When will I become my real self? I only become myself in front of few people. you and you and 'you'. Hope you know who you are =)
Well well well, enough of "I am just an average girl". Got to say bye bye now..
p/s: I wanted to go CNY shopping badly! William please remember your promise. And I wanted to watch BOLT too! Who want to go with me? :(
p/p/s: Due to great demands, I will update my blog frequently..buuahahahah *winks*
Had anyone heard about a song title or any song related to the title of my post? I vaguely remember there is a song which sings the heart out of an average girl. Or maybe I am just imagining it because I wanted the song to exist so much. Yeah. Pathetic for me.
I have been leading a very simple life since I am born. Simple in the sense of there is nothing like big disasters, most embarrassing situations, most awkward encounters which happened in my life. Well minus those break-ups with some guys which keeps me sad for days and a week at most. (Hope someone does not read this T_T). In other words, I am just an average girl.
I can't remember what happens in my kindergartens, so I will just skip it and start with my primary school life.
During my primary school days, I am kind of a bright girl, but not very bright compared to my classmates. I got good results, but not as good as my classmates. I wanted to be number one but always ended up be number two. I remembered once I am being boycotted for no reasons. So damn pitiful during those times where you don't have friends around you. Going to school is just like a torture to me. Lucky it ended after awhile and I am back to the gang again. Since then I am being very self-conscious with myself. I try not to speak the wrong words, I try to behave like the gang, I try to be someone they like. I guess I brought up this attitude till now. What a pathetic I am. I am just an average girl. Well, read the next story.
During my secondary school days, I get to know many great friends, but some of them leave to another school in between the school terms. I will never get along with some friends, and I know they hated me too. But I do not care. I still have my own friends, close ones and even though I do not have to be as self-conscious as previously, I still have it inside me. You just don't know what others are thinking or thinking about you. Some can just be very friendly with you and in the next minute they are gossiping about you behind your backs and they stop talking to you. I do not know the reason why, or maybe it is because of me either saying the wrong things to them or it is just a bad timing. I am an ugly girl during sec (I did not say I am pretty now, beware.) so there is no one there to pay attention on me. I was being bullied by the seniors, the first time in my whole life and I almost changed school. I took part in clubs, but I am always not the outstanding ones. I performed, I danced, I talked, but as usual I am not the best one. I am just an average girl.
And now, I am leading a college life, and I am to be considered as an adult now. My life? I am not the brightest in the class, so I won't get noticed by the lecturers. I am not the laziest in the class so I won't be noticed by lecturers. I am not the most outspoken one in class so I won't be noticed by lecturers. All this changed when I attended my Malaysian and Moral studies class with my dearest Mr Warren. I accidentally found out that he named my class as 'Denise's class'. At that time, I was so proud, the feeling of being in front of everybody feels so good. But that only last for the semester. When the class ends, my feeling ends too. Friends? I have, even though not many but is not few also. But, the attention will always never be on me. I am just a follower, or the someone who will be call just because of another someone is going. So so so pathetic. When I knew their true colors, I stop hanging out with them. Well, as if they care. I do not want to always 'follow the majority', I wanted to make my own decisions as well. But i dare not to. Because I afraid I will make someone pissed off because of that, and I do not want that to happen. Why am I so stupid, putting my own life on behalf of others? Like one of my friend always quote herself 'I am just the grass at the roadside'. Pathetic but true. Who am I to demand so much. I did not say that I do not enjoy my college life, I enjoyed it, but not to the fullest. I wanted something different. Something different from my life. I am just an average girl.
Till recently I found out something which really pissed me off, I get so fed up with these persons, I start ignoring them. Do 'you' remember I was telling you that I am having depression? All sorts of things came into my mind. It is either facts or something which I am imagining. This will happen when you become too self-conscious. When will I become my real self? I only become myself in front of few people. you and you and 'you'. Hope you know who you are =)
Well well well, enough of "I am just an average girl". Got to say bye bye now..
p/s: I wanted to go CNY shopping badly! William please remember your promise. And I wanted to watch BOLT too! Who want to go with me? :(
p/p/s: Due to great demands, I will update my blog frequently..buuahahahah *winks*
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
the Japanese lady in my block
Before I know that she was a Japanese lady, I thought that she is a Chinese lady married to a Malay, because her kids were talking in Bahasa Melayu with her (why I said Malay because the skin tone for her kids are dark).
It is when aYee told me that she is a Japanese lady and then only I realized that she is very fair and has small eyes and always wearing a sarong (for me it looks like a kind of sarong-lah). I always have the chance to bump on her in the lift in the afternoon when she picks up the kids from school.
Today, I met her again, together with her primary-school son and small cute daughter toting from behind eating something. Her son was speaking to her in fluent Malay plus English while the daughter is busy eating her food. When she opened her mouth and talked to her mom, that is where I got shocked! She was speaking in Japanese - fluently like how I speak my Mandarin. Oh gosh, she is just so so cute in her little blue dress, long wavy hair and fair skin complexion like her mother. How I wished I can speak in Japanese as fluent as her! I think she is not even enrolled in kindergarten yet.
Should I marry a Japanese guy to get such a cute kid? Hmm..
p/s: she is really, very, very the cute!!
It is when aYee told me that she is a Japanese lady and then only I realized that she is very fair and has small eyes and always wearing a sarong (for me it looks like a kind of sarong-lah). I always have the chance to bump on her in the lift in the afternoon when she picks up the kids from school.
Today, I met her again, together with her primary-school son and small cute daughter toting from behind eating something. Her son was speaking to her in fluent Malay plus English while the daughter is busy eating her food. When she opened her mouth and talked to her mom, that is where I got shocked! She was speaking in Japanese - fluently like how I speak my Mandarin. Oh gosh, she is just so so cute in her little blue dress, long wavy hair and fair skin complexion like her mother. How I wished I can speak in Japanese as fluent as her! I think she is not even enrolled in kindergarten yet.
Should I marry a Japanese guy to get such a cute kid? Hmm..
p/s: she is really, very, very the cute!!
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
the BORE-DOOM
Today, I am bored to death. Maybe because Nic is not at home with me. Normally around this hour both of us will be in the hall become typing monster. Now, Nic is celebrating her freedom with her friends and I am alone at home. Sob..Sob..No motivation to do work. So basically the whole day I am Alt-Tab-ing from my Word document and Facebook. So lame. Got nothing else to do than Facebook. Just can't help it.
What is so nice with Facebook? Recently I added (not me added, is 'someone' added it for me) 2 applications, Fish Wrangler and 义气仔女Online. Both of this application needs constant visit in order to upgrade the levels. Like Fish Wrangler, I need to go fishing every 15 minutes. As for the 义气仔女Online, I need to bank in my 'protection money' every hour to prevent others from stealing it. I can get so addicted with this 2 applications until I need to close the whole Facebook to prevent me from playing it.
Oh ya, this evening I also cleaned off the remaining of colors on my toes and apply it with a new coat. Now it looks so pinky! Shinier, brighter and nicer.
Now, it is sharp 11 pm. I need to go 义气仔女Online again to keep my money. Sigh. This is how i got through my whole day. Well, at least biu gor is around in MSN so I can express my boredom to him and he sent me a youtube video to entertain me (a practical entertainment). What is not practical? He asked me to off all the lights in the house and pretend as ghost. I said I am scared. Then he asked me to take out all my clothes, Nic clothes and Boon clothes and tie it, drop it to balcony and ask me to climb down. I said it's raining. He asked me to wear raincoat T_T
Well, here is the video:
Thanks biu gor ;)
Anyways other than biu gor there is someone else who is disturbing me as well. Keep asking me to treat him yumcha this weekend, if not he will teach my hy bad things. Teach la! Teach la! See I am more evil or you are more evil, or should I should I say, see hy will listen to who.. Mwuahaha..
12 minutes gone, and I still can't figure out what I am supposed to do now. Think I should get back to my munching Pringles business. Full-lah....
I am bored! I am bored! I am bored! I am bored to death. Someone please save me! Bla..bla..bla..bla..pathetic T_T
What is so nice with Facebook? Recently I added (not me added, is 'someone' added it for me) 2 applications, Fish Wrangler and 义气仔女Online. Both of this application needs constant visit in order to upgrade the levels. Like Fish Wrangler, I need to go fishing every 15 minutes. As for the 义气仔女Online, I need to bank in my 'protection money' every hour to prevent others from stealing it. I can get so addicted with this 2 applications until I need to close the whole Facebook to prevent me from playing it.
Oh ya, this evening I also cleaned off the remaining of colors on my toes and apply it with a new coat. Now it looks so pinky! Shinier, brighter and nicer.
Now, it is sharp 11 pm. I need to go 义气仔女Online again to keep my money. Sigh. This is how i got through my whole day. Well, at least biu gor is around in MSN so I can express my boredom to him and he sent me a youtube video to entertain me (a practical entertainment). What is not practical? He asked me to off all the lights in the house and pretend as ghost. I said I am scared. Then he asked me to take out all my clothes, Nic clothes and Boon clothes and tie it, drop it to balcony and ask me to climb down. I said it's raining. He asked me to wear raincoat T_T
Well, here is the video:
Thanks biu gor ;)
Anyways other than biu gor there is someone else who is disturbing me as well. Keep asking me to treat him yumcha this weekend, if not he will teach my hy bad things. Teach la! Teach la! See I am more evil or you are more evil, or should I should I say, see hy will listen to who.. Mwuahaha..
12 minutes gone, and I still can't figure out what I am supposed to do now. Think I should get back to my munching Pringles business. Full-lah....
I am bored! I am bored! I am bored! I am bored to death. Someone please save me! Bla..bla..bla..bla..pathetic T_T
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